Marriage Vows

Although this may be a little late for Valentine’s Day, it is appropriate anytime. Since our church is going to be having a marriage enrichment seminar over the next two months, I thought I would present a viewpoint I came up with about 6 years ago. I was teaching a class on the family at our church and I started looking seriously at what the Bible had to say about marriage.

Actually the material below would surprise you if you knew me 35 years ago. I was a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal who believed the man ought to dominate, and his wife ought to be doormat-submissive. I was also unmarried. Well, now that I have been married fairly long, I have a different viewpoint which is probably closer to the Bible as well as good for my marriage.

The New Testament model is found in Eph. 5:22-33. Verses 22-23 (Wives, submit…) are where I got my earlier viewpoint. Perhaps verse 25 was just glossed over. This is the most important verse in the passage. ‘Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church’ says so much. Everything that a husband does in relation to his family should not be done with his best interests in mind. He should be thinking of his wife first and putting her interests above his. Pretty hard, but when I do this, it makes for a better marriage. Also, my wife just seems to have an easier time submitting to me when I am placing her on a pedestal. (Does the word picture seem odd – submitting when on a pedestal?)

So many marriages are on the rocks these days, and that includes many Christian marriages; it also includes many marriages where couples have given years to it. It is tragic to see kids lives wrecked and upset. I understand that sometimes there is nothing that can be done, but I have to believe that if men would take the Bible and practice it, we would be able to save some families. So men, when God tells you to LOVE your wives, do it! Put her first; don’t think of what makes life easier or better for you. Maybe think of how you were when you were trying to win her heart. She fell in love with a guy who put her interests above yours, so don’t take her for granted now.

Okay, wives, it’s your turn. Yeah, submit. But if your husband starts putting you first, and you find it difficult to accept him as the leader, there is a problem. I think any man who is trying to practice these principles would have an easier time if his wife did allow him to be the leader, although I might add that large decisions, especially financial ones, should never be made without consultation. Never. Remember you are one, and therefore communication is important. But in the end, the buck stops with the man and if a decision turns out bad, he alone must take the blame. I know, I have made my share.

There is always a problem when your mate is unsaved. I Peter 3:1-6 gives wives some good advice. Besides that, all the advice I can add is pray for and love your spouse, perhaps God will grant them mercy.

Forgive me for sounding ‘preachy,’ but let me assure you that I am praying that if anyone reading this is having problems with his or her marriage, that these principles will help you.